The Revival of Kurt Hummel
by gleefulmusings
Summary: Kurt Hudson is facing his forties, a looming divorce, and raising his four children on his own. If he's going to survive, he must become the man he had forgotten how to be: Kurt Hummel.
1. The Art of Letting Go

Kurt Hudson studied the cheerful banality of the office with scant interest, trying to avoid thinking about what had brought him here in the first place. How had he sunk so low?

Oh, right. His husband.

He had given up trying to control his children. His eldest son Asher was glaring down at the floor, headphones stuck deeply in his ears, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. His eldest daughter Chloe had positioned herself away from him, legs and arms defensively crossed as she muttered under her breath. They were typical teenagers resentful of everything, but especially their family.

The twins, Poppy and Ronan, were reading and coloring respectively. He sent a soft smile their way. He hadn't planned for them, content with the two he already had, but he had been talked into it and was now so grateful he had taken the chance. Lately they had been keeping him sane in the midst of the craziness of … whatever this was.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

He had worked so hard for this life, for this family. This was the time he should be seeing rewards for all of his efforts; instead, it was collapsing all around him and no one but him appeared to care.

But he was determined it would improve. He would work harder, smarter. He would fix the problems and everything would go back to normal.

The only difficulty was … lately he had been coming to realize that normal really hadn't been all that normal. These problems weren't new; they had always existed. He had spent so much time, well, not really _ignoring_ them, but trying to focus on the good things. And there were a lot of good things.

But cracks in a foundation always led to disaster eventually, which led to him being in this office.

Court-mandated therapy.

It was mortifying. He wondered when he had stopped trying to lead by example in favor of struggling to keep his head above water. He felt in he had been running in place forever and had nothing to show for it, like a hamster on a wheel. Except his hamster had died.

He was so angry. He was angry at himself, at Finn, at the kids. He was angry at being here, at the reasons a judge had decided it necessary, at having outsiders dictate his behavior. He was angry at the friends talking behind his back while giving him pitying looks. He was angry at the people who had known but never said anything, convinced it easier for him when it was, in fact, easier for them.

He exhaled and glanced down at his watch.

Twenty minutes. Finn was _twenty minutes late_ for their _court-ordered family counseling_.

Kurt had reached his limit. He was through with all of this. It was definitely time to take control.

But maybe it was too late. He had surrendered so much in the first place, but he still couldn't deem his marriage a failure.

He and Finn had made it twenty years, plus four of dating, which was twenty years longer than anyone else had expected. Sure, they'd both had to make sacrifices along the way, but wasn't it worth it? They had a nice life, a nice house, and four beautiful children. Shouldn't he take more comfort in that?

Of course, he told himself, and he was going to start today. Nothing had happened which couldn't be made better.

He didn't realize he had said the words aloud.

"What?" demanded an icy Chloe.

"Nothing has happened?" repeated an incredulous Asher.

Finn chose that precise moment to throw open the door and bound inside. Forty years old and he still behaved as a hyperactive puppy.

"Hey! Sorry I'm late."

Kurt looked him over with a critical eye. Polo, chinos, and a slight sunburn on his nose.

Immediately a red veil settled over his eyes.

"Golf," he hissed. "You're late for this because you went _golfing_?"

Finn flushed in embarrassment and couldn't meet Kurt's eyes.

A disgusted Asher threw up his hands. "Way to go, Dad. Putting us first like always."

"Leave him alone!" Chloe shrieked. "It's not his fault we're in this situation!"

"Oh, right on time, princess," he drawled. "Dad can do no wrong and everything is Daddy's fault."

She sniffed and looked away. "Well, maybe if Daddy hadn't …"

Kurt felt tears spring to his eyes without warning.

"Chloe, that's enough!" Finn barked. "Your father didn't do anything wrong. He's not responsible for this situation."

She rolled her eyes. "Sure, Dad. Like we all haven't heard your fights. He's the one who drove you into Rachel's arms!"

"You bitch," Asher seethed, springing up and running up behind Kurt, resting his hands on his father's shoulders and gently massaging them.

"Honey, please don't call your sister such names," Kurt murmured.

Chloe sneered. "Always so worried about the family image."

"I'm warning you, little girl," Finn said softly, but with steel in his voice, "if I hear you speak to your father again with such disrespect, you and I are going to have a problem."

She flushed and turned away.

"Family image," Kurt quietly repeated, staring at her. "You honestly think I'm worried about our family image? I've devoted my entire life to this family, Chloe. I've spent the last twenty-five years loving and supporting your father and raising you children. I gave up my career, what little family I have left, most of my friends, my _name_ , and quite a lot of my dignity to create what I believed was a happy life."

And that was when he knew it was over. His marriage, his perfect family, his dreams. It was gone.

He took a ragged breath. "Only to come to realize I've failed in every respect."

He covered his face with a hand and fell silent.

"Why do you always make Daddy cry?" Poppy asked of her elder sister. "Don't you like him anymore?"

Chloe's face and eyes burned with shame.

"You haven't failed," Finn whispered.

"Of course I have," Kurt said without inflection. "You threw away a twenty year marriage for a woman who has hated me for most of our lives and still dresses her teddy bears in doll clothes. One of my daughters thinks everything I do is wrong, my son feels he has to defend me at every turn, and my youngest are starting to ask questions for which I hoped never to have answers."

"You blew it, Dad!" Asher shouted at Finn. "You blew it for all of us!"

Finn sighed and sank down into a chair. "I know."

Asher appeared bewildered.

Chloe was staring at her father in confusion. "What do you mean Rachel has hated you most of your lives? She's only been around six months."

Kurt looked placidly at Finn and held up his hands. He wasn't taking responsibility for this.

A nervous Finn fidgeted. "We went to high school with Rachel, sweetheart. She and I dated before I began dating Daddy."

Chloe scoffed. "So he stole you from her and now she's stolen you back. How very _Lion King_. Let's all join hands and sing _Circle of Life_."

"Do you really believe I would do that, Chloe?" asked a hurt Kurt.

She said nothing.

"Chloe," Finn warned, "I've had enough of your mouth, so kindly shut it before I sew your lips together."

"You can't sew."

"Yes, I can. Your father taught me."

"I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks," Asher said.

"Arf. Chloe, I didn't start seeing Daddy until long after Rachel and I had broken up." He swallowed and stared down at the floor. "I was, uh, actually with Daddy before Rachel."

"Wait," Asher said, holding up a hand. "So you cheated on Daddy in high school, he forgave you and took you back, and then twenty years later you cheated _again_ with the same woman?" He turned toward the therapist who, up until this time, had been mute. "I hope you called for backup."

The therapist remained silent, surprised only that these people were essentially doing her job for her.

Chloe was obviously struggling with how to assimilate this information with everything she had believed to be true. Had she really misjudged the situation, her fathers, so badly?

"High school was a very confusing time, kiddo," Kurt said to Asher. "We all made a lot of mistakes."

"And some shouldn't have been repeated," Asher shot back.

"Did you ever love him?" Chloe whispered to Finn.

"Of course I loved your father," Finn said. "I've always loved him and always will. We're just … we're not the same people we were then."

Kurt felt this was very unfair. "I didn't change, Finn. You did."

Finn reared back in shock. "You haven't changed? Kurt, you're nothing like the man I married."

"Maybe you're right," Kurt snapped, "and maybe you haven't changed at all. You're still the same selfish, spoiled brat who thinks the world should revolve around him."

"You were going to be a doctor, Kurt," Finn argued. "You were going to save the world. You had so much ambition, such potential. You had a _spark_. When was the last time you sang, Kurt? Do you even remember? Because I don't. There was no _limit_ to what you could do and I couldn't wait to see what that was." He snorted. "And what did you do? You went _shopping_."

Kurt's eyes flared with indignation. "Excuse me. I went shopping to furnish your _perfect_ house, to build your _perfect_ image. You think I've changed, Finn? What about you? I worked eighteen hour shifts to put you through law school so you could make a difference in the world! And for what? So you could stand in front of a green screen and read – _barely_ – from cue cards that which anyone could discern just by looking out a window!"

"I'm a meteorologist!"

"You're a weathergirl!"

"I have three Emmys and the highest ratings in the state!"

"Well, you get an F from me. Take your pick as to just what it stands for."

"At least I have a job."

"You didn't want me to work, Finn!" Kurt bellowed. "Remember? You pressured me to have children and when I was finally ready, when I wanted them more than anything I have ever wanted in my life, you only agreed if they had at least one parent staying home with them. And you made it clear it wasn't going to be you. You didn't want to have latchkey kids like we had been. Oh, and newsflash: I wasn't going to _become_ a doctor. I _am_ a doctor."

"You are?" Ronan said in wonder as he stared up at his father.

Kurt smiled. "Yes, baby, I am."

"Wow."

"Kids, get your things."

"I'm going to live with Dad," Chloe said.

Kurt jumped to his feet. "You're going to pick up that ridiculously overpriced tote bag you call a purse and follow me out to the car. If I hear anymore backtalk from you, I'm taking your laptop, your phone, and every designer label in your room. Those things are all in my name, sweetie, not yours, so you want to be _very_ careful how you speak to me."

She grudgingly picked up her bag and shrugged on her coat.

"You win, Finn," Kurt said. "You can have your divorce. I'm not going to fight you any more. I've spent my entire life fighting for you and never once have you returned the favor. I hope you're happy with Rachel. I really mean that. I'm only sorry I could never make you happy."

"You did make me happy, Kurty," Finn whispered.

"Yet you're marrying her."

The children looked at their fathers and then at each other.

Asher was appalled. "You're _marrying_ that … that …"

"Watch your mouth, Asher," Kurt snapped.

"I have to," Finn whispered.

Kurt scoffed. "What do you mean you have to marry her? You don't _have_ to marry anyone, not unless you were a complete moron and went off and," he gasped as realization set in, "and …"

Finn cringed. "I'm so sorry, baby."

Kurt stared blankly at the wall before him. "Oh, my god."

"What's going on?" Ronan asked.

"Rachel is pregnant, you idiot!" Chloe said.

"Hey!" Poppy screamed as she scrambled to her feet and pulled her twin against her. "Don't call him names! How were we supposed to know?"

"Rachel is pregnant?" Ronan repeated. "But I thought it was Lila who's pregnant."

Asher covered his face with his hands.

"Who's Lila?" the therapist asked.

Chloe smirked. "Asher's girlfriend. I guess the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree."

"Shut up, Mouth," Asher hissed, "and Ronan doesn't know what he's talking about."

Ronan frowned. "Yes, I do. You left the pregnancy test in the trashcan."

Asher cringed.

"All right, that's it," Kurt said. "Let's go. We'll talk about this later at home. After dinner and a stop at the liquor store." He turned toward the therapist and raised a brow. "If that's alright with you?"

She blinked. "If anyone's earned it, you have."

Kurt nodded and swept the children from the room. Before crossing the threshold, he looked over his shoulder at his husband. "I really do want you to be happy, Finn, because after all of this, someone should be."

He left.

Finn collapsed back into his chair, putting his head in his hands.

The therapist stared at him for several long moments.

"I hope this Rachel is good in bed, because you just threw away one hell of a man."

* * *

After dinner, the twins had gone upstairs to start their homework and Chloe had locked herself in her room, nattering on to one of her friends about some stupid actor's unfortunate haircut rather than dealing with reality.

Asher stood next to his father, drying the dishes after Kurt washed them.

"What's going to happen now?" he quietly asked.

"Dad and I are going to file for divorce, baby." He closed his eyes. "I'm so sorry I failed you."

"You didn't fail anyone, Daddy!" Asher protested. "I know how hard you've tried. I've seen how unhappy you've been."

Kurt sadly shook his head. "Then I did fail, because I should have protected you from seeing that. My problems are just that: mine. Not yours."

"We're a family," Asher protested. "We're supposed to be there for each other no matter what."

Kurt turned off the faucet and dried his hands before turning and cupping Asher's face. "One of my biggest regrets in this life is that I've allowed you to assume so much responsibility. It doesn't matter that you're the eldest, I'm the parent. It is not your job to protect me."

Asher opened his mouth and then just as abruptly closed it with an audible lack of teeth.

Kurt's hands moved down to his son's shoulders. "Say what you were going to say. I never want you to be afraid to tell me things, kiddo. I don't want our relationship to be what mine was with my father."

"You and Grandpa get along great!"

"We do," Kurt agreed, "now, but that took a lot of effort and tears on both our parts. For a long time, I was scared to say to him how I felt and what I wanted. After Mom died, I was terrified I'd lose him too, either to death or because I did something he didn't like."

Asher frowned. "You know that's crazy, right? All Grandpa ever talks about is how awesome you were as a kid, how proud you made him."

Kurt gave his son a sad smile. "But he never told me that. We didn't talk much, not about the things that matter, and we let fear and resentment come between us for a very long time. Now, what were you going to say?"

Asher looked down. "If I don't fight for you, Daddy, if I don't protect you, who will?" He shook his head. "Because you don't protect yourself."

"What do you mean, honey?" Kurt asked, stroking the apple of Asher's cheek.

Asher heaved a sigh of frustration. "Dad hasn't been good you to in a long time. I've heard the things he's said. We all have. You should have dumped him the minute you found about Rachel. I don't know why you put up with that, why you tried to make it work, especially since now I know this wasn't the first time."

"I won't talk about this with you, Asher. My relationship with your father is none of your business."

"Okay, but how about the way Chloe talks to you? Why do you let her get away with that? You've given her everything she's ever wanted. She's smart, beautiful, popular. Why does she act the way she does?"

Kurt sighed and began putting the dishes away. "It's always been hard for her, sweetheart. You know she's always been uncomfortable being adopted."

Asher rolled his eyes. "We're all adopted, Daddy. So what? You gave us homes, gave us _lives_. You've been there for us every step of the way. What more does she want?"

Kurt exhaled. "She's always felt very excluded because she doesn't look like Finn or me. She's always felt like the odd person out."

"Oh, come on! Daddy, none of us look like you or Dad, but she looks more like she could be your biological child than the twins or I do. We've never resented that or her. Where does she get off being such a drama queen?"

"I think part of it is that she was the baby for a very long time, Asher. She was the apple of all our eyes, including yours. Then then twins came and they required a lot of attention."

"She wasn't neglected."

"No, she wasn't, but I think she became very insecure. I think she worried that your father and I would continue adding to the family and she'd get lost in the shuffle." He guided them over to the breakfast table, smiling as they sat down. "The first time I held you in my arms, baby, I knew what it was to love someone more than my own life."

Asher blushed.

"People say that all the time as if it's a given, but it's not. I was terrified to be a father. I honestly believed I wouldn't be very good at it. It took your father a very long time to convince me I would be."

"And you're the best," Asher whispered.

Kurt smiled and patted his son's hand. "I was a lot like Chloe when I was her age, consumed more with things than people, constantly worried about my reputation and what people said and thought about me. I loved your father with everything inside of me, but … I'm not sure I ever trusted him completely."

"Because of Rachel?"

Kurt nodded. "Her, and other things. Your grandmother died when I was very young and that greatly influenced who I became. I didn't trust anyone, Asher, not even my own father. I was always afraid of saying the wrong thing, of doing the wrong thing, scared he would leave."

He shook his head. "It was completely irrational. My father loves me more than he does his own life but, again, we never communicated well when I was growing up and I became a very anxious and withdrawn child. It took a long time for me to grow out of that, and a lot of that is down to your father. Don't ever believe we didn't love each other, honey. What he said today in that office is true: he's always loved me and always will. I've never doubted that."

He sighed. "But I know how difficult it's been for him being married to me. I forgave him for Rachel the first time, but I don't think he ever really believed that. He overcompensated for years, to the point that he almost suffocated me with his desire to prove that he was worthy of me. That was hard for me, too. There's nothing more difficult than trying to convince someone you love them when, deep down, they don't believe that you should."

Asher ducked his head and nodded, provided more insight into this father in the last twenty minutes than in all of his life. He bit his lip. "He did want us, though, didn't he?"

"Oh, baby, of course he did. Don't ever question that. Finn has always wanted children, a lot of them, ever since he was a child. If it were up to him, we'd have at least four more. He loved you when you were just an idea. Being a father is the greatest joy of his life."

Asher blushed but became sullen. "Yeah, but now he'll have a kid of his own."

"Which doesn't mean he'll love you any less," Kurt sharply countered. "The fact that this new baby will be his biological child means nothing. It certainly doesn't negate or change the love he has for you and your brother and sisters. I could say a lot of things about Finn Hudson, Asher, and I certainly have over the years, but he has always been an incredible father."

Asher's blush deepened as he nodded. "You think that's part of the reason Chloe is so upset?"

"Absolutely. Until the twins came, it was very cut and dry for her. You were my baby and she was Finn's."

"That's not true."

Kurt gave him a sly smile. "It's just us now, sweet boy. You know it's true. I love all of my children equally, but you and I have always been closest to one another, just as Chloe has with Finn." He leaned in. "From the first moment I looked into your eyes, you were mine. You couldn't have been any more my child than if I had given birth to you myself."

He blinked. "In some alternate universe where men can get pregnant, of course."

Asher laughed. "Remind me to introduce you to fanfiction sometime."

Kurt arched a brow. "Really? How old do you think I am? I know what fanfiction is. I've read it. I've _written_ it."

Asher frowned. "I'm not sure how I feel about that."

Kurt snickered.

"I want to stay with you," Asher said suddenly.

"And you will," Kurt assured him. "For one, the house is mine. Your father and I have a prenuptial agreement and he knows he'll have to honor it. Second, I will retain physical custody and Finn has unlimited visitation."

Asher's brows gathered. "I thought you only decided today to give him the divorce."

Kurt blew out a breath. "Baby, I meant it when I said I never trusted easily. When your father and I got married, I insisted on a prenuptial agreement. I had so many friends whose parents divorced when I was young. I saw what they went through, how it affected their children. I never wanted that for myself or my own children. Your dad was in full support and signed it without reservation."

Asher was skeptical. "Really?"

"Yes, _really_ , and when we started planning to adopt you, we gave serious consideration as to what would happen if we were to divorce. It was an ugly but necessary thing. Finn always felt, though I disagreed, that while he would be a good father, he wouldn't make a good single father. He's always believed I'm much stronger than he is, which I'm also not sure is true.

"Regardless, we made arrangements. If we were ever to divorce, I would get physical custody and he could see you, and then the other children after we adopted them, whenever he wanted for as much time as he wanted. Holidays and vacations would be split.

"Since the house was in my name, I would keep it and we would stay here so that you and your brother and sisters wouldn't feel you were losing even more of your lives. Your father and I have always kept our finances separate. We wanted to be together forever, but remain independent."

Asher refrained from pointing out that forever had apparently come. "Daddy, not to be rude, but what finances do you have? You stopped practicing before you and Dad got me. He's always been the breadwinner. I mean, I know you worked to put him through school, but …"

"I have a lot of money, Asher," Kurt said quietly. "You know Grandpa had a very successful chain of repair shops before he retired, but my mother came from money. I inherited all of it after she died."

Asher's brow furrowed as he tried to correlate this information with what he thought he had known, but wasn't quite able to put it all together.

"You can ask," Kurt encouraged.

"Um, okay, well … how much?"

Kurt gave him a wry grin. "I haven't checked the market today, but right now? I'd say roughly …"

Asher blanked completely when he heard the number.

"I don't want you to worry about anything, honey. The house is paid for. The cars are paid for. We aren't hurting for money. You will go to college, and professional school if you want. I don't have to work, but I think I probably should. I need to get out of this house and back into the world."

Asher nodded robotically.

Kurt laid his hand on his son's own. "Are you okay?"

"I guess … I guess some small part of me always worried, especially after the twins. It was selfish, I know, but I wondered how you could afford two more kids because that meant two more cars eventually and two more college tuitions. Would you be able to keep all of us? What if you had to send one of us back? And it would probably be me because I'm the oldest. And there are doctors and tutors and lessons and _food_ and …"

"I am so sorry you ever worried about that. If I had known, believe me, I would have set your mind at ease. So, _please_ , stop worrying. We're going to be fine. You're going to be fine." He paused. "Your baby is going to be fine."

Asher inhaled sharply before his face collapsed in a broken sob. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Daddy."

"You don't have to be sorry. You never have to be sorry for wanting your child." He raised a brow. "And I know you, Asher Hudson. You want the baby, yes?"

"Yeah, of course."

"And Lila does, as well?"

"She says she does, but …"

"But what?" Kurt prompted.

"Her parents …"

"What about them?" he demanded.

"They don't want her to have the baby. They said if she does, they'll throw her out."

Kurt immediately stood and stalked to the counter, grabbing his keys. "Let's go."


	2. Reformulations

Asher looked around his bedroom, still somewhat surprised this was actually happening and grateful once more for his father. He was also terrified out of his mind.

A baby. He was going to have a baby, an actual _baby_ , and not like that stupid doll thing in health class last year.

Wow, he looked back on that now, about how smug he had been for acing the assignment, and wanted to punch himself in the face. He remembered Daddy being proud of him for taking it seriously, but it's not like anything he learned was really going to help him now.

He inadvertently caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, startled by how pale and thin he looked. How young. How many times had he moaned about wanting to grow up, to be an adult? Stupid. It was so stupid. _He_ was so _stupid_.

Up until this point, his life had been pretty awesome. He might not have been too fond of his Dad right now, but he had two great parents who loved him and thought he had hung the moon. He didn't really look like either one of them, though he supposed he was built more like Dad. He was already taller than Daddy, had a pretty good body thanks to football, and was considered one of the best looking kids in the class.

His hair was inky black and curly, so dark it appeared in the sun as though he had violet highlights. He had olive skin and large, clear eyes the color of spring grass. He didn't really know too much about his birth parents other than that they had been Mediterranean and wanted a better life for him than they would have been able to provide.

Unlike Chloe, he never gave his biological parents much thought. He knew he had been surrendered shortly after birth and placed in an orphanage, which was where his fathers had found him. It didn't matter to him that his birth parents had given him away; that his fathers had chosen him was much more important.

He had always felt loved and wanted, chosen. His parents had given him everything they ever had and more. Up until fairly recently, his life had been pretty sweet. He was handsome, popular, smart – though not smarter than Daddy; he was pretty sure no one was – and had a lot of friends.

He knew that would change. He wasn't blind to the politics of high school. He had experienced some prejudice for having two fathers. There were people who assumed he was gay because his fathers were. It had never bothered him. There was nothing wrong with being gay. Sometimes he wished he was, because girls could be crazy.

Dad had never called himself gay or bisexual, and now Asher wondered if he should have seen that as a red flag. Growing up, he'd never had any doubts that Dad loved Daddy. He used to get so embarrassed when he would see them making out or holding hands in public, but because they were his _parents_ , not because they were two dudes.

Dad used to look at Daddy with such love in his eyes, as though he couldn't believe how lucky he was that Daddy had said yes to spending their lives together. He'd give anything to see that now.

How had it happened? How had Dad gone from loving Daddy _so much_ to cheating on him and making a baby with … he didn't even want to think of her name. What kind of person was she, that she stole a man away from his husband and children?

He had always been closer to Daddy, yeah, but that didn't mean he loved Dad any less. He was so hurt. Daddy was so _hurt_ and that just made it so much worse. He knew how much Daddy had given up to be with Dad. His career – being a doctor was a _huge_ deal – and his name. He knew that couldn't have been easy. He was the only Hummel left, but he had agreed to take Dad's name, to give their kids Dad's name.

Asher knew Grandpa was still sore about that. He wondered if Daddy regretted it now.

Daddy must have regretted so many things.

He never knew Daddy sang until Dad had mentioned it in the therapist's office that afternoon. From the way he said it, it sounded as though singing had been a big deal for Daddy. Dad sang all the time, all these old, lame rock songs. He vaguely remembered Daddy singing him lullabies at night, but he didn't think that was what Dad had been talking about.

He'd never heard of Rachel Berry before Dad had been found out.

Asher knew Daddy's other friends from high school: Aunt Santana, Aunt Brittany, Aunt Quinn, Aunt Mercedes, Aunt Tina and Uncle Mike, Uncle Puck, and Uncle Artie. Sometimes when they told him stories about Daddy, he couldn't believe they were the same person. Apparently Daddy used to be really into fashion and was the captain of the cheer squad and had even played football.

Nothing about Rachel. Nothing about singing.

What else didn't he know?

How was he going to do this? How was he going to be a father? A _good_ one?

"I'll never be as good as you," he whispered.

Kurt turned around, eyes wide with surprise. "That's ridiculous. First of all, it's not a competition. Second, you will be a very good father."

"How? I'm only seventeen, Daddy."

Kurt shook his head, smiling, and opened his arms. "Come here."

Asher flew across the room and all but tackled his father with a hug. It still surprised him how physically strong Daddy was. He looked so delicate, kind of scrawny, but he was _strong_. His Daddy was the strongest person he knew.

He was also a little embarrassed by just how much he needed a hug right now, how much he wanted to crawl into Daddy's lap and whine and sob, to let Daddy fix everything because he always had.

But he also knew it was his turn to be the strong one. He had to be strong for his baby.

Kurt smoothed the back of his son's head. "Asher, I know this is hard and I'm sure you're terrified, but I'm going to be there for you and Lila every step of the way. We all are, including Dad. No, the circumstances aren't ideal, but they never are when children are concerned." He laughed. "Honey, if everyone waited until they were absolutely, positively _ready_ to have children, humanity would have died out a very long time ago."

"Why aren't you mad at me?" Asher asked.

Kurt sighed. "Because being angry about something that already happened doesn't solve anything, nor does it help the situation." He turned and waved Lila over, frowning when she skittered toward him. "I know you both. I love you both. I know you're responsible people. I believe you when you told me you took precautions."

He shook his head. "Condoms break. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. I refuse to be angry about something over which you had no control."

Lila Forrester thanked every deity she could remember for Kurt Hudson.

"Are you sure you want me here?" she whispered. "It's a lot to ask."

"You didn't ask. I offered and there's no place I'd rather you be than here. Now, I want you both to sit down."

They dutifully sat on Asher's bed.

"There's a lot we need to talk about and I need both of you to be completely honest, alright?"

They nodded.

"Are you sure you want to do this? As you said, Asher, you're only seventeen and this is a huge undertaking. If you want to terminate the pregnancy, I'll support you. If you want to give the baby up for adoption, I'll support you. And if you want to keep the baby, I'll support you."

Asher and Lila looked at him and then at each other, holding a silent conversation with their eyes.

"I want the baby," Asher said, his voice ringing with certainty. "I don't want you to have an abortion. I'm not against it and I know it's your choice, but I want the baby."

"So do I," she whispered softly, taking his hand and intertwining their fingers. She shook her head. "I'm not a religious person, but that's not something I could ever do. There's a life growing inside me. It's part of you and me. I want to keep it."

Asher gave her a watery smile and then looked up at his father. "If we gave it up for adoption, I'd always wonder. I know how lucky I am. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't know for certain that my baby would end up with, well, people like you and Dad."

Kurt laid a hand on his son's shoulder. "When we were in high school, your Aunt Quinn had a baby."

Asher's eyes widened. "What?"

"Who?" Lila asked.

"Aunt Quinn is Daddy's sister and my godmother," Asher said. "She and Daddy were best friends in high school. When they were in sophomore year, my Grandpa married Aunt Quinn's mom, Grandma Judy." He shook his head and looked back at his father. "Aunt Quinn really had a baby?"

"She did, with your Uncle Puck."

Asher was stunned. "Aunt Quinn and Uncle Puck?" He shook his head. "I can't picture that in any universe. They don't even really like each other." He turned back to Lila. "Uncle Puck – well, his real name is Noah, but everyone calls him Puck – is another friend of Daddy's from high school and Ronan's godfather."

"They gave the baby, Beth, up for adoption," Kurt said. "Ironically to Rachel's birth mother."

Asher help up a hand. "Wait, what?"

"Rachel was raised by two fathers."

Asher's eyes flared with indignation. "You're telling me that a woman raised by two fathers had no compunction about stealing a man from his husband and getting knocked up? Doesn't she care that she ruined a family like her own?"

Lila gasped and covered her mouth with a hand. "I'm so sorry, Mister Hudson!"

Kurt gave her a weak smile. "Hummel," he corrected. "I'm taking back my, er, maiden name. But I want you to call me Kurt. Asher's father and I are filing for divorce."

"And Dad's going to marry his mistress," Asher spat, "who's pregnant." He looked at Kurt. "How far along is she?"

Kurt sighed. "Rachel and Lila are due at about the same time."

"What a bitch!" Lila hissed, before blushing and looking down.

Kurt's lips twitched but he quickly sobered. "Asher, I know you're upset about Rachel, but please remember she's carrying your brother or sister. The baby is blameless."

"But she's not, and neither is Dad," said the mutinous boy.

"No," Kurt agreed, sighing, "they're not, and neither am I."

"That's not true!"

"Yes, honey, it is. It takes two to make a marriage work, and it takes two for it to end." He gave his son a rueful smile. "You can't steal someone who's happy with what they have, but I want you to know that our divorce has nothing to do with you or your brother and sisters. Your father doesn't love you any less."

Asher harrumphed and crossed his arms defensively across his chest.

Kurt was warmed when Lila's immediately wrapped her arms around Asher and laid her head on his shoulder to comfort him. Yes, they were young, so terribly young, but they did love each other. He wasn't so sour and disillusioned to argue they were too young to know what love was; he and Finn had married when they were not much older than Asher and Lila.

"Okay," he said, "so you want to keep the baby. That's the most important decision to be made and everything that follows will be dependent on your commitment to that decision."

They nodded.

"It's going to be hard," he continued. "Very hard. I saw firsthand what Quinn went through in high school and not much has changed. Puck was … not at his finest then. He wanted the baby very much, but not for the right reasons, and while he thought he was in love with Quinn, he was more in love with the fact that she was his baby's mother."

"You mean he didn't love her as a person?" asked a confused Asher.

"No."

"That's crazy. I love Lila. I mean, I know we're young, but I'm sure of that. I love her." He turned toward her. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said quietly.

"Good," Kurt said. "That's half the battle fought, then. If you two seriously want to do this, to have and raise this baby, you need to be committed to it. That you're committed to each other can only help matters. I'll do as much as I can, provide whatever support you need, but, at the end of the day, this child is yours."

"Seven months," Lila whispered. "It seems so far away, but I know it's not really far at all."

"It's not," Kurt agreed, "and there's a lot we need to do to get ready." He looked around. "Are you sure you want to you share your room, Asher? We have guest rooms."

Asher wrapped his arms around Lila and drew her flush against him. "I'm sure."

Kurt held up his hands. "That's fine."

And it was. She was already pregnant, so what else could happen?

"But it's going to take some getting used to," he continued. "You've always had your own room, Asher. You never had to share with Chloe or the younger children. Having your own space is an intensely personal thing and I know how private you are."

He help up a hand when his son began to protest.

" _However_ , if you want to do this, I'll allow it, but I also want you both to know that, if at any time, you feel it's not working for you, we can make other arrangements."

Lila shook her head. "I want to be with Ash."

Kurt nodded. "Okay." He looked around the room with a critical eye. "The bed is large enough and Asher only uses half his closet. There's enough room to put in another dresser." He looked at them with a raised brow. "Asher, you've always cleaned up after yourself, but I suggest you adhere to stricter guidelines where your bathroom is concerned. Believe me, a woman appreciates a man who remembers to put the lid down."

He smirked when both children blushed.

But they weren't really children anymore, were they? He felt so old.

"We'll turn the guest room next door into a nursery," he continued, already planning a list of everything they would need. "I saved a lot of the children's things from when they were babies, Lila, so later on we'll go through it and you can see if there's anything you'd like."

"Thanks," she said, ducking her head. "For everything, Mister … Kurt."

Kurt gave a gentle laugh.

Lila looked at Asher. "I need to find a doctor."

"Daddy's a doctor!" he said with some enthusiasm. "Daddy …"

Kurt shook his head. "I'm a neurologist, baby, not an OB/GYN. Lila will need specialized care and I'm going to make sure she gets it. I know most of the doctors in town, at least tangentially. I'll make some calls tomorrow."

"You're a doctor?" Lila asked.

"I am."

"Couldn't you be my doctor?" she asked in a plaintive voice. "I know you. I trust you. Everyone else will judge me."

"Honey, no doctor worth his or her salt is going to judge you. No offense, but you're hardly the first girl to get pregnant in high school." His eyes narrowed. "And if whomever we choose makes even one condescending remark or ever makes you feel uncomfortable, I want you to tell me immediately. I'll take care of it."

Oh, she had no doubt about that. He had certainly taken care of her father. She looked askance at the bag of frozen peas duct-taped to his hand.

She was still so mortified. It was bad enough Kurt and Asher had seen the person her father really was when behind closed doors, but for him to try to attack Asher and then Kurt, well, that was horrifying.

"What's going on?" asked a sleepy Chloe as she pushed her way into her brother's bedroom. As she looked around at the disarray, her eyes widened. "What happened?" She caught a glimpse of her father's hand. "Daddy!"

Kurt wrapped her in a side-hug. "I'm fine, sweetheart. Everything is fine. Lila is going to live here with us from now on."

Chloe stared at her father and then at her brother. "I take it things didn't go so well at the Forresters?"

Asher glowered. "Mister Forrester tried to hit Lila, then me, and then Daddy."

"What!"

"That's something we can talk about tomorrow," Kurt said. "Right now, we all need sleep, Lila especially." He turned toward his son. "My expectations haven't changed. You will continue to go to school and get good grades." He looked at Lila. "You, too, honey. Both of you may be expecting a child soon, but you're going to finish high school and then college."

"How am I going to afford to go to college?" asked a crestfallen Lila.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it," Kurt said, "but the hard part is getting there." He nodded to himself. "And we're going to get both of you there." He sighed. "At least we still have the weekend. We'll start to get things ready. I'm sure I'll have to make arrangements with the school."

Chloe selfishly wondered how her brother's new situation would affect her school dynamic and was ashamed of it. She was ashamed of many things.

"Asher was right today," she said to her father. "I was a total bitch to you and I'm sorry."

Kurt gave her a pained smile. "I understand, baby. It's been difficult for all of us."

"Yeah," she agreed, "but I never really stopped to think about what this was doing to you." She shook her head. "I'm so mad at Dad. The twins don't understand what's going on. And what about the house? And visitation?"

She hadn't said anything at the time, but she had noticed this afternoon that when she said she wanted to live with Dad, he hadn't put up much of a fight for her. He probably wanted to spend all his time with Rachel, getting ready for his new baby.

She knew it was irrational to blame that baby, to blame Rachel, but she couldn't bring herself to blame the person she knew was responsible.

"We'll talk about all of that tomorrow," Kurt said. He blew out a breath. "First I need to call Grandpa and Aunt Quinn."

Asher's eyes widened. "Are you sure that's a good idea? They might kill Dad."

"If they don't, Aunt Santana sure will," Chloe said.

Kurt's shoulders slumped. "That's what I'm afraid of."

He kissed all of them goodnight, including Lila, who wondered what would have happened to her had she found herself in this situation with anyone other than Asher.

"He's such a great guy," she murmured after Kurt left the room.

"How could Dad _do_ this to him?" demanded an enraged Chloe.

Asher gave her a bland look. "It's about time you asked that question."

She blushed. "I was wrong, okay? I get that. But it's not like Dad is some horrible person either."

Asher sighed and looked down. "I know," he whispered, "and Daddy said that we shouldn't judge Dad, that someone who's really happy can't be stolen." He looked at his sister. "I think he blames himself for everything."

Chloe sniffed. "Well, that's just dumb. Even I know that. Regardless of what Daddy says, I _do_ blame Rachel. She knew Dad was married, that he has four children, but none of that stopped her from spreading her legs."

"Chloe!"

"She's right, Ash," Lila said flatly. "You and I are in this situation because of a broken condom. From everything I've heard about this Rachel person, what makes you think she didn't get pregnant on purpose?"

Asher stared at her as though he honestly hadn't thought of that, while Chloe just nodded.

"You know Dad, Asher. He can be dim sometimes where other people are concerned. You saw him today. It's obvious he still loves Daddy. Maybe he loves Rachel too, I don't know, but he's marrying her because of the baby, not because he doesn't love Daddy."

Asher had to force himself not to tell Chloe about the things Daddy had told him: about the money, Aunt Quinn and Uncle Puck, and Rachel's history with his fathers. He figured if Daddy wanted Chloe to know, he'd tell her himself.

"Are you jealous of me?" he suddenly asked. "Of my relationship with Daddy?"

She gave him an incredulous look. "Of course I am! Wouldn't you be?"

He shrugged. "Like I am of yours with Dad?"

She blinked. "Really?"

He flushed. "Daddy told me earlier that I had always been closer to him while you were closer to Dad. I guess I hadn't thought of it before, but it's kind of true, isn't it? I was always Daddy's Little Man and you were Dad's Princess."

She gave him a rueful smile.

Asher became very serious. "We have to be there for Daddy now. Don't get me wrong, I love Dad, but, well, he's kind of shirking his responsibility, isn't he? He's run off to start over with a new spouse and a new family, leaving Daddy to pick up the pieces."

Chloe sighed. "Yeah, I guess. I know Dad is still there for us, but it's not going to be the same, especially for the twins."

He winced. "Yeah, I get that, but I also think they understand more than we do."

She tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

"We had the best years, the ones where Dad and Daddy were the happiest, but the past couple of years … you know as well as I do that all of this didn't just come out of nowhere, right?"

She bit her lip and nodded.

He shrugged. "Poppy and Ronan picked up on that, I'm sure. They're smart kids. For us, this came as some huge shock, but for them … I think they might have seen it coming."

She blew out a breath. "Well, that just sucks." She shook her head. "So what we do?"

"Be there for them. I think that's all we can do." He looked around furtively. "I also think that we need to answer their questions, give them honest answers, like we would have wanted at their age. They're … what do you call them? … concrete thinkers. They won't understand all of the intricacies of a marriage."

"Like we do?" she shot back. "We know our _fathers_ , Asher. We don't really know _Kurt and Finn Hudson_."

"Hummel."

"What?"

"Daddy's taking his name back."

It hit her hard, though she wasn't really sure why. "What about us?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, are you going to become Asher Hummel?"

He stared at her. "I … I don't know."

"It has to be hard for him. For better or worse, Daddy's been a Hudson for twenty years and now, all of a sudden, he's going to be the only Hummel in the house?"

"It's just a name," he argued, though doubt was plain in his voice.

She scoffed. "No, it's not. You're not Asher Hummel, you're Asher Hudson. There's a difference. A name might just be a name for a _place_ or _thing_ , but not a person."

"Maybe you could hyphenate them," Lila suggested.

Chloe gave a thoughtful nod while Asher fidgeted.

He didn't like the idea of a hyphenated name. As much as he loved his Dad, as much as he wanted to be there for his siblings, as much as he wanted to try and remain impartial, his loyalty was to Daddy.

Maybe he _should_ consider taking Daddy's name. It would probably make Grandpa really happy, but then Dad would be upset. Because Chloe was right: it wasn't just a name, it was an identity and, up until this point, he had been pretty happy being Asher Hudson.

And what name did he want his child to have?

This was all so confusing. He had the feeling it was only going to get worse.

* * *

"What's going on, son?" Burt Hummel boomed into the receiver, making his wife Judy wince. She was sitting right next to him on the other phone and experienced some feedback.

"Are you all right, honey?" she asked her son.

Judy very much considered Kurt to be her son. It had taken him years, almost a decade, before he had been comfortable enough to call her Mom. She respected that, respected him.

Quinn had a much easier time with Burt. She had known him for years as an honorary uncle, she and Kurt having grown up together, so when he became her stepfather, it was an almost seamless transition. After all, Russell Fabray had treated his daughters, and their mother, as little more than offal for as long as they could remember.

Her eldest daughter Emily had left the house before Judy had finally gotten up the courage to throw Russell out, so she was used to not having a father, though she thought very highly of Burt.

But Kurt had been very close to his mother, Suzanne, and was devastated by her death. So too was Judy; she and Suzanne had been best friends since high school. Suzanne had always wondered what on earth Judy had seen in Russell, but it taken much longer for the scales to fall from Judy's eyes.

She supposed her long and happy marriage to Burt was due in large part to Suzanne. She had brought them together and remained a constant presence in their marriage. Not as a third wheel, but perhaps as a guardian angel, some kind of saving grace.

"Talk to us, Kurt," Quinn softly encouraged, having been conferenced in.

Kurt sighed. "I wanted all of you to hear it from me before anyone else."

"Son of a bitch!" Burt bellowed.

Judy closed her eyes, so incredibly sad.

"Finn and I have decided to file for divorce," Kurt whispered.

"This is because of Bitchy Bangs, isn't it?" Quinn demanded. "That … that harlot!"

Kurt burst out laughing against his will. "Harlot? Really, Quinn? What's next? Calling her a scarlet woman?"

"Well, she is!" she shrieked. "I'd be more than happy to tattoo a giant red A on that cow's face!"

"Hear, hear," Burt muttered. That Rachel girl had always been trouble.

"Please don't do this," Kurt begged. "I know you all mean well and are trying to be supportive, but calling her names doesn't change the facts. Finn chose her and that's the end of it. I need to accept that and blaming Rachel for everything solves nothing."

"It also gives Finn absolution he doesn't deserve," a wise Judy observed. "How are the children reacting to this news?"

Burt and Quinn fell silent, awaiting the answer.

"The twins don't really understand," Kurt said, and then sighed. "Or maybe they do, I don't know. You know how perceptive they are, how perceptive all children can be at that age. I'll have to spend more time trying to prepare them."

"Ash and Clo?" Burt grunted.

"Asher is supportive of me," Kurt said, "as I'm sure you all expected. Chloe …"

"Is siding with Finn?" Quinn asked gently.

"Initially she did, yes," Kurt said, "but she asked to live with Finn, who made it clear with his silence that he didn't care much for that idea."

"Motherfucker," Burt muttered.

"You said initially?" Judy interjected, swatting her husband.

"Chloe has a lot to work out and, unfortunately, she's going to have to do that mostly on her own. Her feelings for myself and Finn have always been muddled. You know she's always been his little girl and thought of Asher as mine."

"Well," Judy said hopefully, "maybe this will bring the two of you closer together."

"I can only hope."

They held their breaths when Kurt cleared his throat.

"Uh-oh," said a knowing Quinn. "What else is going on?"

"I got into an … altercation this evening with the father of Asher's girlfriend."

"Lila, isn't it?" Judy asked.

"Yes. She … she's pregnant."

Dead silence.

"Oh, my god," Quinn whispered.

"Quinn …"

"What are they going to do?"

"They want to keep the baby."

"Good," Burt said.

"It's not that simple," Judy said. "What about finishing high school? College?"

"They're going to do both," Kurt said. "I'll make sure of that."

"What kind of altercation?" Quinn asked.

"When Asher and Lila made clear they wanted the baby, Nicholas Forrester tried to strike Lila."

Burt and Quinn growled obscenities.

"Asher stood between them and Nicholas went after Asher."

Judy's rage bubbled over. "If that asshole laid a finger on my grandson, I'm going to cut off his balls with a rusty spork and make them into earrings!"

Burt beamed at his wife.

Kurt choked back laughter at her colorful threat. "I put a stop to things before either of the children could be hurt."

Burt grinned like a shark. "You mean you kicked ass."

"I merely …"

"Kicked ass," Burt interrupted. "Don't bullshit a bullshitter, kiddo. I know you. Anyone comes after your kids, their ass is grass and you're the lawnmower."

An embarrassed Kurt was silent for a moment. "Yes, well …"

Quinn whooped.

They could all hear Kurt roll his eyes. "At any rate, Lila has moved in with us. I can't say I'm thrilled she and Asher are sharing a bedroom, but she's already pregnant and I certainly couldn't leave her at her home."

"No, of course you couldn't," said a sympathetic Judy. "You've always done the right thing, sweetie."

Kurt sniffed. "I don't think that's true, otherwise …"

"Why is Finn doing this?" Quinn screeched. "He's throwing away a twenty-five year relationship for a shrew who couldn't hold onto him when were in high school? How stupid is he?"

"Finn is _not_ stupid."

"Stop defending him! He's …"

"Rachel is pregnant."

Again, dead silence.

"Whether Finn wants or feels he needs to marry her doesn't interest me. He wants his child to be legitimate and I understand that. As humiliating as all of this is, the baby is blameless. I won't begrudge him or her its father.

"And say what you like about Finn, but he has always been a wonderful father. That's not going to change, not for this child or the children he and I share. At the end of the day, whether or not he's my husband, he's still my children's father. I have to make that the priority. This is not about my hurt feelings."

"Yeah, it is, buddy," Burt insisted, "and you're not doing anyone any favors by being a martyr. You've always taken on more responsibility than was your due and, believe me, Finn is capitalizing on that."

"How is that, exactly?" Kurt challenged. "Finn knows he has to abide the prenuptial agreement. I keep the money, the house, and the kids. No judge is going to overturn that. This is going to be hard enough for the children. I'm not going to compound the problem by vilifying their father."

"You should still make him pay alimony and child support," Quinn said. "And sue Rachel for alienation of affection."

"This isn't a Lifetime movie," said an exasperated Kurt. "Illinois maintains grounds for fault divorces, but they have no role in determining how assets are split, just in matters of custody and then only rarely. The prenuptial agreement takes care of all of that. I'm certainly not going to sue Rachel. First, I don't think those grounds exist here and, second, I don't want to deal with her any more than necessary."

"What _are_ you going to do, honey?" Judy asked.

Kurt blew out a breath. "Take care of my children. Maybe go back to work."

"Really?" asked an interested Quinn. "You're going to get a job?"

"I think I've hidden away in this house long enough. I have no illusions that it will be easy. I've kept my license active and done my continuing education, but I haven't practiced in eighteen years. No one's going to be beating down my door to offer me a job at a prestigious practice.

"Besides, I'm really only interested in a part-time opportunity. I want to be there for the kids. I don't want this to impact them any more than it has to."

"The kids just want you to be happy, son," Burt said, "and so do we."

Kurt choked out a sob. "I thought I was happy, Daddy. I didn't know just how blind I'd been."


	3. Turning the Page

**Author Note** : I just want to take a moment to thank the trolls who've been sending anonymous flames regarding this story. Your ignorance that such comments are screened amuses me, but not nearly as much as you reading every word and then whining about me making "straight" characters "gay." These are fictional characters and this story occurs in an alternate universe. That you're so invested in _imaginary people_ _who don't exist_ is hysterical. That you're so egregiously butthurt even more so. Please, keeping trolling, and thanks for the hits! #TROLOLOLOL

* * *

Poppy Hudson hated that she always woke with a start rather than a soft entrance into consciousness.

She hated a lot of things.

In no particular order, these things included broccoli, the Disneyfication of classic fairytales, One Direction, and most of the people walking the planet.

The things she loved could all be counted on two hands: her fathers, her brothers, her sister on occasion, her godmother Santana Lopez, and some other things, one of which may or may not have been Taylor Swift. It depended on her mood.

Poppy Hudson knew exactly how lucky she was. She was ten years old and possessed an extraordinary intellect, for which she had documentation. She didn't really need the documentation, of course – the proof was obvious – but she knew from experience that it was always good to have a contingency.

Before she had become a Hudson, she'd had a lot of contingencies. Children in the foster care system usually did.

So when Kurt and Finn Hudson had shown up one overcast day and offered to remove her and Ronan from the group home in which they were currently housed, she had more than a healthy dose of skepticism.

On the surface, they were lovely people who honestly appeared to want to parent her. Still, she wasn't used to having parents and quite enjoyed her freedom, thank you. She'd had a host of polite excuses as to why they should look elsewhere, but before she could voice them, Ronan had crawled into Kurt's lap and clung to him for dear life.

All of the excuses went out the window.

Poppy knew she was smart, very smart, smarter than most adults, but she also knew that Ronan was, in some ways, even smarter than her. He was an excellent judge of character, perhaps owing to the fact that he had been selectively mute for as long as she could remember. There was no impairment. He could speak perfectly well when so moved. He just often wasn't moved.

Oh, he sometimes spoke to her in the language they had cobbled together to fool others, but he was mostly silent.

This had made him a remarkable observer.

He had never taken to anyone the way he had Kurt. That meant something.

It had been harder for her. It often was. Sometimes she wondered if she herself _made_ things harder … before deciding she really didn't care.

As it was, they had gone home with the Hudsons that very day.

She had been much slower to accept them than Ronan. She thought Finn tried too hard. She thought Asher was far too optimistic than was healthy. She thought Chloe was a pseudo-intellectual snob who didn't appreciate the good fortune with which she was blessed. She thought Kurt almost too precious for words, and not in a good way.

But all of them had been kind to Ronan. That, too, had meant something.

They had been kind to her too, genuinely kind, and she could tell when people faked it. They didn't fake it. That also had meant something.

Ronan had then started talking. Joyfully. That had meant everything.

As the days had grown into months, Poppy admitted that she too had fallen under their spell. For all of their quirks and foibles, they truly were a family and, for whatever ridiculous reason, they wanted to include her and her brother. This definitely cast aspersions on their sanity.

Poppy knew she was a handful. She knew she was too smart for her own good and that of everyone else. She knew she could be impossible to like, let alone love, but they all loved her.

It had taken her a long time, years, to accept that love and return it fully.

Then it had been threatened.

Now it was over.

She was _angry_. She was angry at Dad for throwing it away. She was angry at Daddy for giving up. She was angry at Asher for turning his back on Dad. She was angry at Chloe for always making Daddy cry. She was angry at Ronan for retreating back into himself.

And she was angry at herself for caring so much.

She knew the odds had been stacked against them. They had only been four, but were still considered _older children_ , not the babies everyone always were so eager to adopt. They already had lives, personalities, _names_. She knew they might have stayed into the system until they were spit out of it.

But then the Hudsons had come. They had taken both her and Ronan, refusing even the thought of separating them. They had let them keep their names. They hadn't demanded they call them Dad and Daddy, understanding those were titles which had to be earned. They had encouraged them to be who they were. They had given them security.

And now that too had been threatened.

Worse, they had infected her with hope, always a hateful thing, and now she found herself believing that the dissolution of her parents' marriage didn't necessarily mean the same for their family.

She wasn't surprised Dad had done what he had done. She had been in enough foster homes to see that marriage wasn't forever, which was why she had vowed long ago that it wasn't for her. People lied. People cheated. It didn't necessarily mean they were bad people, just _people_.

It hurt her to see Dad so torn. It just about killed her to see Daddy so bereft.

What it might do to Ronan, however, made her furious.

The problem was that she couldn't decide at whom she should be most angry. She loved her parents. She knew they loved her. She knew they loved each other.

She knew things happened in this life and, sometimes, the only decision you had was how you reacted to them. She was determined to react with logic and reason.

Logic dictated that while her fathers were divorcing, they didn't love their children any less.

Logic dictated that she and her siblings were not at fault for the problems of their parents.

Logic dictated that Rachel's role in all of this, whatever that was and regardless of how it came to be, she was not entirely at fault. Dad had made his decisions and they would all have to live with them.

She sighed and sat up in her bed. She looked over at her brother, unsurprised to see he was still sleeping. Or hiding. She decided to leave him be.

She swung her head in the other direction and looked out the window. It was sunny, the sky a brilliant blue with white fluffy clouds dotting it haphazardly. It was just like any other day.

So she decided it would be just that.

She decided she was going to go about her business, love her family, and be the best person she could be. It was the only thing her fathers had ever asked of her. It was the only thing she asked of herself.

She was Poppy Hudson.

* * *

Ronan wasn't hiding. He was thinking.

He often did that, about myriad things and at all hours of the day. Most people believed he was lost in his thoughts, but that wasn't true. He always knew exactly where he was and how to find his way home.

He was just as smart as his twin sister, but had never felt the need she did to verbalize. Frankly, Poppy talked way too much.

She knew it was simply her way. She needed words to make sense of her feelings.

Ronan just felt things. He thought it was much easier. Words often got in the way.

He knew their family had grown last night. Perhaps it was more accurate to say it had evened out. They had lost a father but gained a sister.

Not that Dad was lost. More like … displaced.

Ronan liked Lila. She had been his and Poppy's babysitter before she began dating Asher, on the rare occasions that Daddy went somewhere without them. She had always been kind to them, listened when they spoke, and never talked down to them as though they were nothing more than silly children. She'd be a good mother even if she was too young to have a baby.

Asher would be a good father.

He didn't feel threatened by their baby. He didn't feel threatened by Rachel's baby. He knew that his fathers loved him and always would. He knew Asher and Chloe loved them and always would, even though they sometimes acted as though he and Poppy were nothing but pesky kids. He knew that Rachel loved Dad and liked his children, even if those same children had feelings for her which ran the entire spectrum of human emotion.

He knew Poppy wasn't as tough as she wanted him and everyone else to believe.

He knew this would be hard, that Daddy was going to hurt for a long time, but he knew in the end everything would be okay. Just like he knew that day in the home when he had crawled into Daddy's lap that everything would be okay.

Because _this_ was home. This was _family_.

In the end, family was all that mattered.

* * *

Kurt danced around the kitchen, bringing and removing plates from the table, silently ruing that only he would have children with tastes as finicky as his own. Of course they only liked certain foods. Of course none of their preferences were shared. Of course he kept the local grocery in business.

He paid extra attention to Lila, who, as an only child, appeared rather overwhelmed by how boisterous and chaotic a family breakfast could be with so many people involved. She was just grateful to have a hot meal and Kurt was happy for her gratitude.

"How did it go last night?" Asher asked.

Kurt sighed. "About as well as could be expected."

His son smirked. "Threats of vengeance and retribution?"

"Naturally."

"And I'm sure you dissuaded them from action."

"Of course."

Asher offered a forlorn sigh in reply.

Kurt just rolled his eyes as he took his seat. "Now that we're all fed, there are some things we need to discuss." He looked at each one of them in turn. "As you all know, Dad and I are divorcing, which means he will no longer live here. Even though he hasn't been here these past few months, I think all of us were hoping he'd come home."

The twins simply stared at him. Asher glared down at the table while Chloe was impassive. Lila appeared embarrassed yet happy to be included.

"The most important thing for you to know is that Dad and I love all of you very much. That is never going to change. We also love each other and always will. We just … can't live together anymore."

He took a sip of his coffee. "I've been thinking about this most of the night and would appreciate it if you would listen to what I'm about to say."

He nodded when they all sat up just a bit straighter.

"Blaming Rachel is the easy way out and I'm not going to do it. I don't want you to do it either. The truth of the matter is that your father and I have had problems for years. We knew that. We ignored them and hoped they would go away. They didn't.

"Don't misunderstand me. I am very angry with Rachel, but mostly because of how she chose to go about this. However, I've known her since we were young, far better than you do or ever will. I know how she thinks and operates. I truly do not believe she did this intentionally. I also do not believe she became pregnant to trap your father. She's many things, but she's not those things."

"You can't just expect us to accept her," Chloe spat.

"I certainly can and I do," Kurt countered. "You don't have to accept her as your mother. She isn't your mother and never will be, nor do I think she would ever try to be. But you will accept her as your father's wife and mother of your new brother or sister."

"Are we supposed to listen to her?" Asher demanded. He shook his head. "No, thank you."

"You will be expected to behave yourselves in her presence. You will be expected to respect her in her home and in mine. Beyond that, she is not responsible for your care and has no say in your lives. When you are in her home, you will abide her rules. If you do not, if you embarrass yourselves, your father, or me, you will be punished. Not by Rachel, but by your father and me."

He raised a brow. "It is therefore up to you whose wrath you'd rather incur."

He delicately took another sip and watched with faint amusement as his children exchanged looks of horror. He never wanted his children to fear him, nor had he ever given them cause. They had always respected his rules because he had taken the time explain them. He had also never been afraid to dole out punishment when it was warranted.

Granted, his punishments were unusual. He often found a book applicable to the situation and made them read it before having them write a report which correlated the narrative with the situation that had spawned the reading.

Yes, he was a nerd. His children were nerds. But they were well-behaved and thoughtful nerds. Usually.

He also had no problems confining them, taking away prized possessions, and denying them excursions they were desperate to attend. He never yelled, he never made them feel as though his love was conditional, and he was always sure to discuss with them their feelings. They were welcome to feel whatever they wished, but they were not to be ruled by emotions.

He had spent most of his young life on an emotional seesaw because his mother was dead and his father didn't know how to relate to him. He didn't want that for his children. He made sure they knew they could always come to him, that he would always be there to love them, to forgive them, and to help them. But he also made sure they knew he wasn't a pushover, that actions had consequences, and the choices they made mattered.

Okay, so he had been more than a little invested in his psych rotation.

The lovely thing was that Finn had been there every step of the way, just as invested. That was one of the benefits about being unable to have their own children: they had considered their parenting philosophy long and hard before beginning the adoption process. They knew what they wanted to achieve and had done so.

They had always been a united front where the children were concerned and he didn't see that changing. The children, though they had tried, had never been able to pit them against each other. He fully expected them to try now, to test the boundaries of this new reality, and he knew it would fail. It wouldn't work. He and Finn had their issues – they'd had them for a long time – but they absolutely supported and respected each other as parents.

They also knew they were incredibly lucky to have such amazing kids.

"What's most important," he continued, "is that all of you, including Lila, realize how much I love you. How much Dad loves you. You are the most important things in our lives. You are absolutely our greatest accomplishments."

Lila looked at him in confusion.

He smiled. "I trusted you with my children, honey. I certainly trust you with my grandchild."

She gave him a shy smile and ducked her head.

The desire to kill her father renewed itself. He was positive that Finn, once told the story, would feel much the same. They couldn't have been happier when Asher and Lila had started dating, and though the circumstances weren't ideal, she was a part of their family now and always would be.

Asher looked at him with dewy eyes as he placed a hand over Lila's own. "I'm so happy you feel that way, Daddy," he bleated, "because Lila and I are getting married."

Kurt started choking.

* * *

"And what did you say?" asked a wide-eyed Finn.

"What do you think I said? After I picked myself up off the floor, I told them that, if that's what they wanted to do, I'd support them."

"What!"

Kurt sighed and sat down, looking around Finn's palatial office, a testimony to his rather remarkable and meteoric career. "What choice did I have, hon … _Finn_?"

Tears appeared in Finn's eyes and he quickly looked away.

Kurt was determined to persevere. "They're seventeen. They're old enough to get married without our consent, which they made clear they would do if pushed. It's going to be hard enough for them. I won't make it harder. They'll have enough to fight. I don't want them to feel I'm just something else standing in their way."

Finn sighed. "You should have called me last night."

Kurt stiffened. "I am perfectly capable of defending myself and our children."

Finn laughed. "I know! I just wanted to be there to see it!"

Kurt stared.

"You totally kicked that guy's ass!"

Kurt flushed and looked away. "It wasn't my finest moment."

"Like hell it wasn't. I love when you go all Papa Bear!"

Kurt cleared his throat. "I called Mom and Dad last night to tell them."

Finn looked down at the floor.

"I'm fairly certain I talked them out of killing you," Kurt joked, "but there are no guarantees where Quinn is concerned."

Finn winced but forced those thoughts away. "How are the kids?" he whispered.

"Surprisingly well. I explained that we would file soon and you would be marrying Rachel. I also told them they are expected to respect her, but made it clear that if punishment was required, it would be decided upon by you and me, not her. I hope you'll support me in that."

Finn nodded. "Of course. She's not their parent."

Kurt heaved a small sigh of relief.

"Kurty …"

"Please don't call me that," Kurt whispered.

Finn bit his lip and blinked furiously. "Kurt, you have to know I would never try to take the kids or turn them against you." His voice turned desperate. "You _do_ know that, don't you?"

"Of course I do. Finn, regardless of what's happened between us, I know we're both dedicated to our children. I fully expect that to continue. I want to make this as easy as possible for them, though I know that's probably a foolish hope."

"I really did love you, Kurt. I hope you know that. I hope you know I always will. I hope you never think I was settling or that I wasn't sure of who I was or what I wanted. I would never do that to you. Not again."

"I do know that," Kurt said softly. "Finn, we had twenty mostly wonderful years. That's a lot more than most people get. I'll never regret marrying you. I'll never regret spending half of my life with you or having children with you."

"But?" Finn gently prompted.

"You were right, yesterday in the therapist's office. I did change. I changed a lot. I didn't truly realize until you pointed it out ... yes, I did; I just didn't want to face it. I thought about what you said and took a hard look at myself. I didn't like what I saw."

"You were right, too," Finn said. "I am selfish. I do things without thinking and force everyone else to pay the price." He sighed, putting his head in hands. "I am so sorry for this, for doing this to you, for humiliating you. But Kurt … I can't be sorry about the baby."

"I would never ask you to be," Kurt said easily. "I know how much you love children. I know you've always wanted more. I don't like the way this came about, but as I told the kids, the baby is blameless. I certainly have no hostility toward it. I want nothing but the best for you and the baby."

Finn gave him a sly smile. "And Rachel?"

Kurt gave him a flat look. "Don't push it. Just because I'm not burning her at the stake doesn't mean I can't do a host of other things."

Finn became panicked.

"I'm not saying that I _will_ , just that I believe in having options."

Kurt gave him a broad smile and sauntered from the room.

As Finn forced himself not to ogle his soon-to-be ex-husband's still stellar ass, he felt that little thrill he had when he was younger, when being terrified of Kurt was almost as captivating as loving and being loved by him.


End file.
